xi.

[stabdads]

[Somebody sent him flowers? Oh goodness me! Slick is just a-giddy with excitement. Skipping merrily to the flower vase, he daintily picks up a carnation and sniffs in its lovely fragraokay who am I kidding Slick immediately sets the flowers on fire.

Unfortunately for him, he may have caught a little whiff of the smoke from the vase before dumping the ashes outside...]

[action, Febuary 14th]

[IF YOU ARE ABOVE THE AGE OF 13, Slick will approach you brusquely, without any sort of provocation whatsoever, and will shove a small, carefully wrapped box in your hands without so much as a greeting.]

This is for you.

[Meanwhile, if you're under the age of 13, Slick will instead hand you a black suit, a fedora, and a suspiciously-wrapped L-shaped package.]

We don't have much time so I'll keep this short. I'm your new dad, call me Papa Slick, and you're part of my Crew now. We've got a heist planned for noon, here's your suit and your hat and your gun. Meet me in the car when you're dressed. Oh yeah, bring an apron, I'm gonna teach you the best places to stab a guy.

[Well this isn't terrifying at all.]

Comments

[acuity]

[ well the suit and hat are pretty classy, and she accepts more out of courtesy than anything else, but... what????? ]

A... heist?

[stabdads]

You got wax in your ears, kid? Heist. Sting. Caper. We're gonna show this boss who's town kid, you and me, father and daughter. Go get dressed, we've got a lot to do today.

[acuity]

I already have a fath...

[ well... maybe... but she puts the hat on at least?? ]

I don't know if the position is open.

[stabdads]

Bullshit. Who's this other chump? Gimmee his address, I'll go take care of it.

[acuity]

That won't be necessary! I don't appreciate having my family threatened. Even if they're not really my family...!