willbeurprincess: (sad koharu is sad)
Koharu Izaki ([personal profile] willbeurprincess) wrote in [community profile] mayfield_rpg2012-11-30 06:08 pm

(no subject)

Action; Closed to Lithuania pre-sad EE party


[ Koharu had had several days to mull in that terrible truth. Somehow, she was oddly calm about it. Being a copy didn't invalidate her after all. She became her own version just as valid as the one at home. If she understood it correctly.

But Lithuania obviously hasn't been doing well. He took it much harder. Much closer to his heart. She finally thinks he's had enough time by himself. Walking up behind Lithuania in the kitchen, she reaches over to his arm and looks at him
]

Can we talk?
vytis: (promise me when you see a white rose)

[personal profile] vytis 2012-11-30 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[Lithuania hadn't gotten much sleep in the last week or two--enough to stop himself from falling over, but not nearly as much as he really needed, and it was obvious in the way he couldn't help but jump a little when Koharu touched him, not noticing her presence until then.]

Oh--I'm sorry, I guess I zoned out. [Of course, "zoned out" was a pretty common affliction for him lately, too.] What would you like to talk about?
vytis: (so don't come any closer)

[personal profile] vytis 2012-11-30 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh. His first instinct is to placate her, to try and make her a bit less worried over him.] Well, it's just--Just... That...

[But, in what Lithuania thinks might be a first for him, he can't even begin to pretend he's okay. He can't even come up with a way to finish that sentence, and so it trails off pathetically, which really is a better showcase of how all his thoughts have gone recently.

He's not Lithuania, and if he's not Lithuania... Then what?]
vytis: ('cause you lied)

[personal profile] vytis 2012-12-01 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
There's--at home-- [It hurts him to say that now; it's a home he'll never see again. A world he never really saw?] There's another Lithuania at home, right? The... The real one.

[He can feel that pull on him, that connection to his people, that urge to go back to them. But if this world is a wasteland and he's some sort of complex program in whatever remained of America or something, how would he ever get back even if he could get out of Mayfield?]

Maybe if I were--a person. A human is a human even like this, I think--but--

[What is a nation but the sum of hundreds or thousands or millions of people? He's shaking a little, though he doesn't realize it.]
vytis: (so take me now or take me never)

[personal profile] vytis 2012-12-01 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Poland has survived being split up. Lithuania's survived being under Russian control for hundreds of years (a Lithuania had, at least). And, for as long as he's been here, he's said that he can survive this because he's survived things like that (he remembers surviving things like that, at least). But now he thinks about that and sees stretching out ahead of him countless, endless years of enduring being away from his people, tens and hundreds and thousands of years knowing he'll never go back to them. Is the alternative to be something else, to be something like a human?

But he's not a human. He has too many memories and too much pushing at his mind for that. And if--even if they couldn't get home, if they could somehow become real in the world they're in now, wander the wasteland--if Lithuania doesn't exist in this world, what happens then?

Is that the best, wildest miracle he can hope for, that they'll become real enough to exist in this world and he'll die and fade immediately because there isn't anyone left who's his in a world ruined by nuclear radiation? Would keeping his nationhood kill him immediately? But being without it--being without it is a terrifying idea, like agreeing to a lobotomy knowing it will go wrong.]


I don't know. I don't--I don't know.

[His tone is more plaintive, certainly lost and confused. After this is over, after everything, what happens?]