Episode 9: Questions of Chemical Imbalance

[webball]

High School | Science Classroom | Day

((Hey, Mayfield! Here's something I've been wanting to try for a while now, haven't had a chance. Let's see if it works!

Peter Parker, Spider-Man, is going to teach his high school Chemistry class, same as normal, but this time I want the tagging to be more like an actual classroom. And classrooms foster discussion, right? Right!

So, anyone of high school age, why don't you show up for class and tag him... all at the same time. Everybody thread hop and continue this one thread, and Peter will try to keep up with your questions, antics, and class clowning as best as he can, while also trying desperately to teach this class and maintain order. We'll try to go by posting order, but if it messes up, whatevz, we'll just wing it.

Which probably isn't very WELL. Something tells me he's about to find out that the real monsters of the world are adolescent punks.))

 

 

[Peter shuffles into his classroom, pushing the door open with his back as he finishes eating his doughnut and struggles to pull off his messenger bag. As he enters, he turns around and sees a class full of students. And he means FULL: every seat is filled. This is puzzling on two fronts: first, usually he shows up, "teaches" maybe eight kids who bothered to show up that day, then kills time until the next period, which probably has even less kids, and the cycle repeats until he can go home. Today, for whatever reason, everyone's here. And weird factor number two? They're all ON TIME. In their seats, doing various things, sure, but they're all actually here before the bell. This is, uh... what is this. He don't even. He stands in the front of the room, messenger bag hanging awkwardly on his neck, the last bit of doughnut still between his lips. He speaks hesitantly, still swallowing.] Uh... thith ithn't an intervenshuh, ith it?

Comments

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[And Mart'll get this ball rolling. Feet still raised onto his desk, no fucks given.]

Huh.


You got anymore doughnuts? I'm hungry.

[webball]

[No, Peter... don't bow to the wolves. They can smell weakness. THEY CAN SMELL IT! He quickly swallows his doughnut and removes his bag, setting it on the table behind him, but not yet breaking eye contact with the rest of the class.]

...No. No I do not.

[eveningcalm]

[Izumo is in the next seat over, rolling her eyes.]

This is so unprofessional.

[bleuflag]

[Sin's only barely paying attention (as usual), but he heard 'doughnuts'. He's hungry, okay?]

I wan'a doughnut!

[webball]

LOOK. NO ONE IS GETTING DOUGHNUTS. I DON'T HAVE ANY. [Peter rubs his face, then turns to write on the blackboard.] Ok, for those who don't know, my name is Mr. Parker, and this is Chemistry.

[sara_mudou]

I can run to the bakery and get some doughnuts! It's not far from here! [So helpful, right, Peter?]

[webball]

Oh my God... Donuts are not important. They're not even good for you! Did I ever tell you about the man who ate donuts every day, lived to the age of 90, and cured cancer?

No...? That's because that never happened. No one will ever be like that.

[forgotten_titan]

Umm, Mr Parker? I'm pretty sure donuts have nothing to do with chemistry.

[Not letting up on donuts, nope.]

[best_weapon_ever]

Well, if you believe the concept that baking and cooking is a type of chemistry, you could say they do. Making donuts takes just as much trail and error as most chemistry projects.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

I concur!

Baking is like science.

Except you actually get something out of it!

I love this thread.

[webball]

[Peter has his palm pressed so very hard into his face. There might even be the impression of his hand there when he wakes up tomorrow morning, he's facepalming do hard. SO HARD. ...But he can work with this, actually...]

Okay. Okay. That's... You're right, Mart! Baking is the tastier version of chemistry. You're right. That's because... there are chemical changes happening to the foods and ingredients you put into the oven.

If you look at cake batter, for example... Soupy, watery batter ain't no delicious chocolate cake, right? But when the element of the oven's heat is added, it BECOMES one as the new bonds are formed.
Now. Does anyone know what kind of chemical change happens inside the oven?

me too!

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[Mart things long about this. 5 seconds later?]

Oh! I know!

It solidifies it!

[best_weapon_ever]

[She nods.]

I never really considered it much beyond that, though. What exactly makes that happen?

[bleuflag]

[Sin looks like he's thinking very hard. Food is a good motivation!]

It rises, right?

[..This motivation is only making him more hungry.]

[webball]

[Oh, sweet Jesus, he's actually making progress now. Hah! That wasn't so bad! Hell, he's the Amazing Spider-Man! How bad could a bunch of high school kids have been? He must have overreacted... just needed to get his groove back, like Stella did, but in a far less ethnic and sexy way.]

You're all right, in different ways. Mart, it gets solid because the protein inside the egg, when heated at the right temperature, makes it firm enough to chew.

[A look at Sin.] The baking powder forms air bubbles that give the cake that airy, fluffy texture. And if WE were to be inside an oven, we'd react, too. Horribly, horribly painfully. Protein in skin means we'd get all hard and extra crispy. But don't try that at home. Or, you know, anywhere else. [He smirks at his joke.]

[sara_mudou]

[Ew. Sara listens to this and then looks anxiously down at her own hands, studying the skin on them. She doesn't want to die in an oven, okay?

But she's actually listening now.]

I have a question, Mr. Parker! How come a cake has a different texture than a doughnut? They both get hard, but not the same kind of hard. Is it because they're cooked at different temperatures, or because the ingredients are in different amounts?

[webball]

Hm. Well, I'm not a cook... in fact, I'm very, VERY far from a cook. If the cooks all live on Earth, I've probably got a mid-size apartment on Neptune.

But, I'd guess it's because the ingredients in doughnuts aren't the same as the cake ones. There might be more eggs involved, or some other protein-carrying agent, so there's more hardening. Or there's less in the way of air bubbles that are made, which are what makes the cake moist to begin with. I don't THINK the temperature they're baked in is all that different, though.

[forgotten_titan]

So, will we be baking donuts for class today, as part of our chemistry experiment?

[jaws5sonofjaws]

I vote for that delicious experiment!

[bleuflag]

Me too!

And cake. Cake too.

[webball]

[His eye twitches. Nope. No. No God no. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is not happening AGAIN. NOPE. He was JUST getting somewhere with these guys!!]

HEY! WHY DON'T WE GO AROUND THE ROOM AND INTRODUCE OURSELVES!? A-and say a little something about yourself. So I can remember names. [Spoken a little too...forcefully. He points at a student at the front.]

[tosurpassgod]

[That student is now leaping atop his desk and pointing to the ceiling]

I'M BLACK☆STAR, I'M THE MAN WHO WILL SURPASS GOD, AND THIS CLASS DOESN'T SUCK NOW THAT WE'RE MAKING CAKE!

[best_weapon_ever]

[Tsubaki mouths a sorry, but stands to introduce herself next.]

I'm Tsubaki, and if we need a recipe for the cake I know a few.

[sara_mudou]

[After that, Sara pops up.]

My name is Sara Mudou! [Little bow.] I know some good recipes for homemade frosting! My favorite kind of cake is chocolate.

[bleuflag]

[This one bumps his desk as he stands, looking kinda awkward as he glances around the class.]

Um, Sin. I don't really have a favorite kind of cake. I like 'em all. I've never made one though. [He quietly slumps back down in his seat.]

[forgotten_titan]

Umm, I'm Tara. I don't really know how to bake well, but I can make simple cupcakes. My favorite cake is chocolate mud cake.

[webball]

[Peter stands there, watching wordlessly as they go around the room. When the last student finishes, some drone in the back, Peter blinks, then turns, sits at his desk and slams his forehead into it. Twice.]

I am NEVER. Bringing breakfast to class. Again.

[best_weapon_ever]

Uhm, I don't think that's good for you're head, Sir.

[After a pause.]

Can we bring in breakfast though?

[It would make getting ready for school faster.]

[webball]

Well. I... have no problem with that, um... Tsu...baki? Right? Just as long as you clean up after yourselves and don't spill food or drink into the lab equipment.

Or drink FROM the lab equipment. Trust me, that ain't the way to get amazing superpowers.

[best_weapon_ever]

[She nods.]

It's probably not very safe either.

After class

[ex_haveaplan64]

(The janitor--i.e. this derp--comes in to do his thing. He's spoken to a Peter Parker over the phone before and met him as "Spiderman", but this was a year ago, so he gets a moment of deja vu when he sees Peter but doesn't otherwise say anything yet.)

Re: After class

[webball]

[Peter finishes erasing the keyboard, stopping to observe a crude drawing of a butt in a sandwich on the blackboard. He sighs, erases it and drops the eraser back on the rack, just about ready to go home.]

[ex_haveaplan64]

(Wordlessly tips his hat at the man as he passes; though most of his attention seems to be on the students' chairs and desks, he's using this opportunity to observe how Peter carries himself.)

[webball]

Oh, hey. I'll be right out, don't mind me. [He takes his coat off the back of his chair and pulls it on, both arms through both holes at once and then flipping it up onto his back with a roll of his shoulders. He whistles a little tune as he packs up his messenger bag, slinging it over his shoulder.]

[ex_haveaplan64]

(The voice nails it as someone he's talked to, but since this person doesn't recognize him, he figures that it's a new guy.)

Settling in alroight?

[webball]

[A smirk.] The kids put me through the gauntlet today, that's for sure. It's weird... I usually show up to class, kill time, make some quick chatter about chemistry in case anyone's watching me and taking notes, and then I wait for the bell to be over so I can go home and earn my money. No one really shows up, either... except today, oddly.

[ex_haveaplan64]

Th' town enforces its schedule every three days or so. The students come t' class either t' avoid getting droned, or forgot and was forced int' showing up.

[webball]

Ahh... guessing they just happened to all need to come back today? That's... oddly coincidental, but I guess it makes sense.

I, uh, I'm Peter, by the way. Don't think I've had the pleasure.

[ex_haveaplan64]

RED Sniper. Just "Red" or "Snoipah" is foine.

[webball]

Right. "Snoipah."
...You, uh... you related to the other guy... named Sniper? Or are you both from a generation where all the moms were naming kids after professions that would break their hearts?

[ex_haveaplan64]

Not related, not as far as I know. Where we come from, we go boi our jobs.

[webball]

Hm. Well, if there can be too people named "Baker", then...

No offense, uh, Sniper, but you seem to be overqualified for your position here. Shouldn't you be, like... a cop, or something? Or a safari warden?

[ex_haveaplan64]

A job's a job, and they don't put you in one based on wot you can do.

[webball]

Really? Huh. I thought I was put in this gig because I taught a few classes back home. I guess it was just... random luck?

...Well, luck ain't really the right word, because this job is a real pain in my buttcheeks, but, y'know what I'm saying.

[ex_haveaplan64]

(Deapans, because he's figured Peter to be a snarky guy:) Molding impressionable young moinds not your thing?

[webball]

Well, that's the thing about moldable, shapeless things. You can mold them with care, or you can pound them into shape.

Let's just say the latter sounds more fun.

[ex_haveaplan64]

From wot I can see, most 'f th' students 'ere already 'ave plenty 'f personality, but good luck with that.

[webball]

Yeahhh, I'm probably a little late to the party in that sense. They're too far gone. I blame MTV. Or skateboards.

...ESPECIALLY the kids who ride watch MTV while riding MTV branded skateboards.

[ex_haveaplan64]

(All of that just went over the Sniper's head.)

I'll take your word for it.