[His expression STILL doesn't change. Poker face.]

I keep telling you, I couldn't help that. The slime was making me do crazy things that day. And I had no control over the kitchen; once that slime started vomiting out from the sink, everything started to try to kill us on its own.

Really, all I did was smash the dishes.

[Yep, all the slime's fault. All of it. Totally the slime's fault.]