♕ one

[littlebluebook]

[ 916 bilko blv ]

[ On this particular morning, you will come down into the kitchen to find not breakfast, but what looks like the aftermath of a tornado passing through. Drawers have been ransacked, their contents flung every which way, and at this point nothing has been left untouched. River is in the midst of all of this, still dressed in a nightgown, still rummaging and searching. ]

[ afternoon ; hardware store ]

[ River is dressed to the nines and looks as fabulous as someone forced to deal with a lackluster 1950s wardrobe possibly can, leaned over the counter and chatting almost venomously with the drone worker. ]

What do you mean I need my husband present to purchase a firearm? I'm perfectly capable love, more than you could even imagine.

[ The fuss is beginning to cause something of a slowdown for those doing their shopping, and River is quite disappointed that flirting seems to have no effect on the drone. ]

[ phone ]

You know, there's lots of good reasons why time travelers never stick around in the 1950s. Sure, if you're a white male what could be better, but I'd much rather break my way out of this transdimensional lock box as soon as possible. I'm a busy woman, very important time and space schedules to keep up with.

There aren't any Stepfords I should be looking out for, are there?

Comments

916 bilko

[cueball]

[...

Well so much for getting coffee. He just rolls his eyes and leans against the separating partition, watching her devastate the kitchen. Hopefully it won't take too long, right?]

[littlebluebook]

[ Ah, the man she woke up in bed with. It's not a particularly unusual happenstance for her, so she greets him with a cheery smile, setting down the draw she had been digging through. ]

Good morning, sweetie! Come to help me, have you?

[cueball]

No, unfortunately not. I like kitchens being neat and not looking like an arduous battle was fought inside. [He gets off the partition and takes a couple steps into the kitchen, surveying the destruction.] You're free to continue, I can fix it up easily after you're done.

[phone]

[nodifferentfate]

... Stepfords?

[littlebluebook]

You've never heard of the Stepford wives, I take it?

[nodifferentfate]

I have not. Are they common on your world?

PHone

[afterthesky]

It certainly wasn't an era I cared to visit... well, more than once, but that was really quite specific.

Have you managed to not encounter the drones, then?

[littlebluebook]

Is that what you're calling those empty headed things? I already have, sadly.

[afterthesky]

The ones that follow the script? Yes, they're called drones. They certainly bear a certain resemblance to Stepford versions of their assorted roles.

[Outside the Hardware Shop]

[equinamity]

I heard you had some issues inside procuring a firearm.

[Riza frowns, so very much aware of the frustrations of not being able to buy a firearm.]

I may have a solution for you, if you're willing to try. I had the same issue here when I first arrived.

[littlebluebook]

[ River perks right up at this. ]

Is that so? Do share.

[equinamity]

[She frowns and shrugs.]

Find a friend and borrow a suit and cap, and then drop your voice.

The drone can't tell the difference. A hat to hide your hair and a suit jacket and he's none the wiser.

phone!!!

[godaime]

Stepfords? I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the term.

[ A sigh. ] To address your other concern though, we're all trapped here with no actual way to bust out. It's frustrating and a little challenging. Especially when those damn drones refuse to allow a lady to treat them. [ oh boy oh boy the number of drone men that were placed into temporary comas as Tsunade healed them is probably in the hundreds despite her having her healing ability back for a couple of weeks. ]

[littlebluebook]

It might be a little ahead of your time.

Ah, the joys of being a woman in the 50s. Not something I hope I have to get used to, I'm just not suited for it.

[godaime]

I've never even heard of America so we can just chalk it up to entirely different dimensions.

Hmph. It's not a joy at all. To think I went from a village leader to a housewife in just a span of a nights sleep is something I'll never be able to understand.

[godcomplexed]

...River?

[littlebluebook]

I thought I'd hear from you before too long.

[godcomplexed]

...That's usually how things work, isn't it?

phone;

[spaceshadowfax]

River Song.

I was wondering if you'd make an appearance.

[littlebluebook]

Hmm... I know you, don't I?

[spaceshadowfax]

You do.

But not quite as well as I know you.

[Hardware Store]

[questionauthority]

[Guess who? The Riddler just so happens to be picking up some more supplies for his lair when he passes by the counter. After overhearing the dilemma...]

Having trouble?

[littlebluebook]

[ She glances back at him, lips pursing. ]

Nothing I can't handle, love.

[ She's sing song and cheery about it, but damn if this drone isn't stubborn. ]

[hardware store]

[riastrad_ridire]

Need some help with that?

[Asks the grinning idiot who happens to have blue hair. Nothing weird goin' on here, nope.]

[littlebluebook]

[ Grinning idiot with blue hair. Well, she's certainly seen stranger. River taps her chin thoughtfully, wondering if maybe he could help her. ]

You look like just the sort of man I need.