Drink Count: 21 || Droned Demon

[eyesofaserpent]

[That was stupid, Crowley. Not that he knew Jormungandr's saliva is poison. But still... It was at least a relatively pleasant death. The poison worked quickly and it wasn't gruesome. All in all, it was a good way to go.

It takes three days for Crowley to be revived. And when he does, he wakes up droned. This lasts the whole day, though tomorrow he will wake up himself.

Meanwhile, he's out of the house walking his dog, Rika. He's wearing a brown suit and coat, but no sunglasses. He seems not to have noticed his yellow eyes or his pristine white wings. He also doesn't quite sound the same. It's his accent! He doesn't sound like a denizen of Mayfair anymore, but like an American. He greets everyone cheerfully as he passes them.]

Good morning, neighbor! It's a beautiful day today.

Comments

[ineffablytartan]

[All right, let's be honest. Aziraphale might have been just a little bit worried when he didn't see or hear from Crowley for a couple of days. Just a little. He's certainly pleased to see him out on the streets again, and crosses the road to speak to him, though he immediately notices the lack of glasses.]

Crowley, dear! Where on Earth have you been? Where are your sunglasses?

[eyesofaserpent]

Why, I've just been on my morning stroll with Rika, Mr. Fell. But it's good to see you too.

[ineffablytartan]

[Oh. Oh. Aziraphale pets his hand gently and gives him a smile.] Do you mind if I join you for a little while, then? [For a moment he searches for something to say, not quite sure how to address him like this.] How is your family doing? [Well, that will start the conversation, anyway. He can ask what he wants to when he spots the opportunity.]

[eyesofaserpent]

Oh, they're just swell. Have you tried Wilhelmina's stew? It's to die for.

[It must be noted, that this isn't exactly an exaggeration. Crowley typically doesn't allow Wilhelmina in the kitchen. She's turned out to be one of those people who can burn water. If she were to attempt making stew, the result would probably kill you if you tried to eat it.]

[ineffablytartan]

Yes, dear. You told me about her cooking before. [Although in rather different words.

It's actually a little distressing to hear Crowley talk in that accent. Aziraphale's expecting him to burst out laughing and call it a joke at any moment.]

[eyesofaserpent]

You should bring your family over for dinner some time. I'm sure the missus will be more than happy to cook for everyone. You know how wives are.

[He nudges Aziraphale with a chuckle.]

[ineffablytartan]

Ahah. Ah. Yes. Perhaps. Why don't you ask her to see what she thinks about that?

[eyesofaserpent]

It'll be fine, friend. Women love cooking.

[ineffablytartan]

[Aziraphale's not even going to comment on that.]

Well, why don't you call me tomorrow and we'll see. [Hopefully he'll be better by then.]

[eyesofaserpent]

That sounds like a plan, Mr. Fell.

[He smiles cheerfully at the angel.]

[ineffablytartan]

Yes, well. Perhaps I'll leave you in peace then. Please try and remember to phone me.

[eyesofaserpent]

It's at the top of my to-do list, neighbor!

[godaime]

[ Tsunade stands there as she watches the drone exit the house. She remembers the dog, or whatever the hell species that is, but not in a form like this. The tone, however, is severely worrying to her. If it wasn't for the dog, she'd be angry that he got himself droned already. ]

I suppose it is. The weather is nice. [ No. It's not. It's fucking cold and she feels like she's going to become Mrs. Clause by the time the year is over. ]

[eyesofaserpent]

It's a clear day! Perfect for the kids to build a snow man or make snow angels, don't you think?

[godaime]

If they have the proper snow outfits, sure. I prefer them to remain indoors though. I don't want them passing around a cold.

[eyesofaserpent]

it would be right silly if they didn't have proper clothing for the snow, don't you think?

[godaime]

I know some parents irresponsible enough to let it happen.

[eyesofaserpent]

Well, that's a right shame, don't you think?

[godaime]

I suppose on some levels it is. But some parents probably never wanted to be parents in the first place. [ like her. ]

[eyesofaserpent]

Nonsense! Everyone wants to be a parent!

[godaime]

What about those teenagers? You really think they want to take on that responsibility?

[eyesofaserpent]

Teenagers? But only happily married couples have children.

[godaime]

Obviously. I was asking if you think any of these teenagers are going to end up happily married, or want children right now. I'm leaning towards no. [ It's nice to get a drone's opinion and humor them every now and then. ]

[eyesofaserpent]

There's someone for everyone. I'm sure their marriages will be full of joy and they'll be more than ready when they have their own little bundles of joy.

[godaime]

And then the wives'll be trapped in a cycle where they're constantly viewed as inferior. [ She can out heal every damn doctor in that hospital and yet she's only a nurse ]

fffff This thread is hard. It makes my feminist heart ache.

[eyesofaserpent]

Well, of course a woman's place is in the kitchen.

everything about mayfield makes my equality-loving heart ache || also i am sorry for this tag

[godaime]

[ ....Oh no he didn't. ]

Funny, cause this woman's foot is about to be placed in your ass. [ Even if he's a drone, he's not getting away with this sexism. ]

/s-sob I hate myself just a little for this.

[eyesofaserpent]

Now, now. No need to go into hysterics.

[Things Crowley would never say: THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION.]

It's okay! I'm sure we all love to hate the patriarch drones...

[godaime]

Tch. Hysterics? You wanna see hysterics? [ If she had her insane strength, she'd launch him into his chimney. ]

[eyesofaserpent]

No, I'd like to see you calm down before you make yourself faint.

[godaime]

[ Just walking away. He's not worth it. Hopefully he doesn't follow her. ]

[eyesofaserpent]

[He waves to her.]

Have a nice day! I hope you feel better!

[godaime]

[ Tsunade doesn't even wave back. She just continues to walk and soon she's out of his sight. ]