Death Twenty Two | BEES MY GOD

[likescats]

[A]

[Well school's back in session that means one thing. High school History class with the walking skeleton dressed in black who doesn't so much speak as the words appear in your head, sounding like gravestones falling over. Or you know, Death. He's also teaching you about the Discworld's history. Which is why you're now getting a talk on that time the world almost ended. There's been a few actually, this one is about the time the Sorcerer took over.]

AND THAT IS HOW THE END OF THE WORLD WAS STOPPED BY A MAN WITH HALF A BRICK IN A SOCK. AND IT ALSO STOPPED THE FOUR OF US FROM HAVING TO DEAL WITH THE APORACLYPSE AND GET BACK TO KEEPING THE WORLD RUNNING. OR AT LEAST THE REST OF THEM DID AFTER THEY LEFT THE BAR.

NOW THEN. I WANT A WRITTEN ACCOUNT OF A TIME YOUR WORLD HAS COME IN DANGER OF ENDING. ADDITIONAL DRAWINGS WILL GET EXTRA POINTS. 

[And he'll be at his desk if you want to ask him any questions. Ignore the scythe leaning against the chalkboard behind him and the strange hour glass thing on his desk, it looks more like the glassblower had the hiccups when they made it.]

[B]

[Later on you can find an even stranger sight. ...if you thought that was possible after the above. There is beehive on the lawn of 308 Miller street. Death is tending to the bees. Yes he is wearing one of those funny hats. Yes he looks silly.

There is also a horse sitting on the front lawn. But that's probably less strange then the bone man with the bees.]

[C]

[Inside the house. Death is staring at what appears to be a collection of beads blocking the door. He's ...not really sure why they're there. But its distracted him from what he was going to do. So you can find him just looking at them. Rincewind the kitty is of course hiding under the stove from them. Because they moved and that is bad.]

Comments

C

[bread_goes_bip]

[Death, of course, knows exactly what is with the beads, having put them there and all.]

You don't mind, do you?

[likescats]

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE?

[bread_goes_bip]

It's the bead door from my apartment back home.

[likescats]

IT SEEMS TO BE MISSING SOME PARTS.

[bread_goes_bip]

It's... decorative.

[likescats]

I SEE.

[No he doesn't.]

THEY WOULDN'T MAKE A GOOD FRONT DOOR. THE RAIN WOULD GET IN. THOUGH IT MIGHT CONFUSE THIEVES.

[bread_goes_bip]

They're really only meant to go inside. Rooms that don't really need to be closed off.

[Conversations that don't happen in normal households...]

[likescats]

[Yup]

HOW STRANGE.

THAT MUST BE A STRANGE JOB. MAKING THEM I MEAN. WHAT WOULD THEY CALL FAKE DOOR MAKERS?

[Aka, the Disc doesn't have things like that.]

[bread_goes_bip]

Beaders, I guess...

[She really never thought about it]

Are we still on for this evening?

[likescats]

I WONDER.

[Give him a moment, he's pondering things...]

OH YES, OF COURSE. ARE WE?

[bread_goes_bip]

I think this is supposed to be the part where I spend a simply absurd amount of time getting ready anyway...

[No. She hasn't figured out how she's going to do that.]

[likescats]

IS THAT REQUIRED?

[He's not sure either. I mean, it's on the list, but still.]

[bread_goes_bip]

I think it's... customary, for some reason. It seems... troublesome.

[likescats]

PERHAPS YOU COULD MOVE VERY SLOWLY, AND THAT WOULD WORK?

[bread_goes_bip]

I guess I could go through the case from work and pretend I'm looking for just the right colour...

[This is a bit silly]

[likescats]

THAT MIGHT WORK.


AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE A LONG TIME AS WELL?



....ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A NORMAL THING?

[bread_goes_bip]

I think the guy usually waits around and wonders what could possibly be taking so long.

Maybe we should just pretend we did that bit.

[likescats]

WHY DOESN'T HE JUST ASK?

[This is confusing.]

THAT MAY BE FOR THE BEST.

THAT REMINDS ME, I DON'T BELIEVE THEY HAVE FRIENDLY DIAMONDS HERE EITHER. THE STOREKEEPER WAS GIVING ME A STRANGE LOOK WHEN I ASKED THEM.

[bread_goes_bip]

[SHe's suddenly dressed in a black dress, though her hair and makeup are the same as ever. Because she can.]

Friendly diamonds?

[likescats]

YES. I MENTIONED I WAS FORCED INTO RETIREMENT ONCE.

I WAS CALLED BILL DOOR THEN AS WELL AND I WORKED FOR AN OLD WOMAN NAMED MISS. FLITWORTH. EVENTUALLY SHE HELPED ME DEFEAT THE NEW DEATH, BY SACRIFICING SOME OF HER LIFE.

SHE PASSED AWAY SOON AFTER THAT. BUT I WAS GIVEN SOME EXTRA TIME FOR HER, AND I ASKED PEOPLE WHAT YOU SHOULD BRING TO AN OUTING WITH A LADY. ONE PERSON SAID THAT DIAMONDS WERE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND, BUT FIGURING OUT HOW FRIENDLY A DIAMOND IS, IS STILL SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[bread_goes_bip]

[She manages to not giggle, because laughing at confusion would just be mean and it does sound that way...]

The saying's just supposed to mean that a lot of girls really like diamonds. But that's such a sweet thought!

[likescats]

THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE WAY TO PUT IT.

[He will never understand people.]

WHAT ARE THE REST OF THE RULES?

[bread_goes_bip]

Flowers are involved... and dinner has to have candles.

[Hey, if they're doing this, they're going to do it right]

[likescats]

DO WE HAVE TO EAT THE CANDLES?

[It sounds insane, but so does half of this. So he wouldn't be surprised.]

[bread_goes_bip]

[Not on this planet]

They're for atmosphere.