event: portal five | the carnival

[mayfield_mods]

The fifth portal is in the park, tucked away behind a cluster of trees; as usual, any drones walking past simply ignore it. The cheerful carnival that can be seen on other side of this portal may strike many of you as quite familiar.

The carnival doesn't seem to have changed much since the last time it was open. The street that had been behind the carnival has disappeared, but everything else remains the same, down to the sky looking like it's been completely deleted and replaced by a gaping hole of nothingness. Despite this area being the smallest and most enclosed environment so far outside of the blimp, there are plenty of places to begin your search, from the Ferris Wheel, to the funhouse, to the various rides and stands. Just make sure to avoid the large glitch holes that seem to be all over the place.

Oh, and you might want to speed this one up, because you're not alone here. The faceless drones from the blimp are having fun at the carnival as well, queuing up for the rides and playing the games. They'll ignore you for now, but they're not the only ones you have to worry about. Here and there, you may catch glimpses of hideous, mutated drones...and they don't seem very happy to see you.

Comments

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Now this is more Key-Fu's thing! ... Nevermind the fact he's not fully himself yet.]

By the melting pot of Edward Munich! The misshapen masses seek to macerate our meaty mettle!

[Are you trying to make your way back to the portal? Were you with Key-Fu when he had arrived? If your answer is "yes" to either, you'll find Key-Fu happily wading into the murderous drones with the intent to beat the crap out of as many of them as he can. His martial arts skills are nothing to sneeze at—and his Key rune hits like a gentle kiss from a speeding express train.]

[sunnydwithagun]

(Don't worry, bro; Django's got your back. While you're getting in there with all that crazy martial arts stuff, he's blasting away others with his Solar Gun since it's easier for him that way.)

Be careful, Key-Fu! Any one of them might try to grab you!

[monk_of_keyfu]

It will take more than a grope from the grotesque goons of the gala to garrote the powers of Key-Fu!

[And as Key-Fu says that, he delivers a mighty uppercut with the Key to an onrushing mutant drone!]

[sunnydwithagun]

(Team Mayfield's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiin!

Though in all seriousness, that does at least prove he can back up his words. Django's keeping all the drones at bay with his solar spread, and with the sun out and shining, he's that much more effective.)

Okay, but remember that our goal is to escape; not beat up every drone we find! We need to cut open a path!

[monk_of_keyfu]

[MAYFIELD HAS THE BEST RAGDOLL PHYSICS EVER. Key-Fu seems to be used to fighting with wild abandon, though, because he smoothly segues into blocking another charging drone before performing a series of counterstrikes, then leaping sidewaysinto the way of Django's bullets, ducking underneath them as they fly overhead, and performing a roundhouse kick on a drone that managed to get past Django's suppressive fire. Somehow, he managed to get that key stuck on his boot just before making the kick, which is giving off its own golden shine.]

[After which, he bounces back to his feet, snatching the key from the boot—and glancing back to Django to heed his words just long enough before going into another flurry of punches on more onrushing drones. Then he replies:]

The horrendous hordes hunger for a knuckle sandwich!

[You mean we're not here to punch a face into these faceless freaks?!]

Yet surely you are a sleuth of truth! Let us become as the machete in this jungle of sweaty armpit hair!

[And swiftly, Key-Fu drops the key onto his knee momentarily as he groins another on rushing drone, before swiftly snatching it and performing another hard punch into a second one.]

[sunnydwithagun]

(Definitely a flashy set of moves right there. Django only wishes he could do anything like that...but alas, his strongest skill is in gunslinging, not fistfighting.

But at least he can be resourceful. Casting a glance over at his gauntlet and then up at the sun, Django's body flashes purple as he dashes between the drones at impressive speeds, stopping briefly to set a few sticks of dynamite created from his gauntlet's magic. Shortly after he dashes away, the dynamite explodes and opens up plenty of room to move on.

He raises his hand to the sky and summons his vector bike, immediately hopping on it and revving the engine.)

We have an opening; we have to take it!

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Explosions and flying gibs? Boy, this is almost like being back on his own mortal coil! Whatever raining blood and body parts come down from Django's explosive path-clearing doesn't bother Key-Fu one bit. He's still grinning crosseyed, right through it all.]

Then let us simply walk into more doors!

[Key-Fu starts ... doing something that looks like a blend between a prance and a dead run. At least, he does before suddenly leaping into the air and kicking a stray drone in the way right in its head.]

[sunnydwithagun]

(Explosions make things easier. A lot easier.

Thankfully, his bike managed to do the same thing. Speeding after Key-Fu, Django darts through and between the drones, occasionally blasting them aside with mounted guns on the bike.)

The portal can't be too far, right?

[monk_of_keyfu]

[And now Key-Fu's trying to keep up with Django as the solar boy burns rubber! Yet he's only so fast without his superhuman speed, though he doesn't show much sign of getting winded by trying to keep up. For now, at least.]

Indeed! 'Tis only a short jaunt—

[YOINK.]

[It didn't take long for the path Django blew open to fill in with more drones coming up from behind—one of them got the idea to grab Key-Fu's trailing cape and pull hard, sweeping the martial artist off his feet and flat on his back.]

Saucy!

[sunnydwithagun]

(Okay, that's just not gonna fly. Not at all, nope nope.

As soon as Django notices this, he pulls a hard 180 and blasts away the drone pulling on Key-Fu's cape with his mounted guns, then speeding by Key-Fu to pull him on the bike to hopefully make a manageable getaway. The last thing they need are more drones to get in the way.)

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Key-Fu's still in the process of pulling himself back together from getting yoinked the way he did—not literally, thankfully, but it's still Django doing most of the work getting him onto his bike. Once they're on the move again, Key-Fu briskly shakes his head, clearing out the cobwebs.]

Surely I had become one with the magician's tablecloth!

[... Yep, he's gonna pull through! Even if it's gonna hurt like the dickens tomorrow.]

[sunnydwithagun]

(The important thing is that he pulls through at all. Otherwise it's...bad. Because dying is bad, even when there's respawning.)

It's alright; I think we'll be fine from here on out. We just need to make it through the portal...

(Just speeding right on through in hopes of escaping the crowd! The sooner they do, the better.)

[monk_of_keyfu]

Splendid! Then let us give Evel Knievel a high-five on the interdimensional highway!

[Key-fu focuses on keeping a good grip on the bike as Django floors it. Cape whipping in the wind and everything!]

[bitetodeath]

[ Seriously, why do this guy keep uttering such weird things, as if his turn-over day or what the hell it was hadn't been enough already. Why he's still around, he has no idea. ]

[ He doesn't really bother much with the drones - they're boring, and not really any stronger than before they started to try killing them. Instyead, he's yawning as he bash in a head with his tonfa. ]