mayfield_rpg | it's okay to say you've got a weak spot

Ah.

[He... kind of remembers. It's a haze. He's just glad he didn't kill Dist and this isn't a 'HOW COULD YOU' phonecall. That's a good sign.]

I... believe so? What was it you wanted to talk about?

[Please don't say 'deep personal introspection on why you were kind of insane'...]

[Bad luck for you, Klaus. Dist is quiet for a moment, though.]

You were prepared to kill me against your own conscious wishes. Why?

[At least he doesn't seem all that angry about it this time.]

[WELP]

The explanation would take more time than we have, even if we were trapped here indefinitely, which is beginning to look like the most likely outcome.

[Is it just Dist, or does he sound a little bitter?]

Suffice it to say... I went home. And I did not like what I saw.

...Tell me about your home.

[They've been here two years together and Dist knows nothing about where Klaus comes from. That fact is starting to bother him, and perhaps knowledge of it would help him understand. He wants to understand, finally.]

[Klaus is silent for a long moment. It's only just struck him as well that for all he's known Dist the longest of anyone in Mayfield -- since his very first day -- they've never truly talked. Dist knows his title -- does he know what it entails?]

You want me to simplify and describe something that is by its very nature complicated beyond description. To explain an entire world, even an entire country... but I will try.

My world is a world that has been torn by war near-constantly for over a century. Many of the men in power are Sparks like me, but unlike me they cannot control their Madness and cannot grasp diplomacy. I warn born in the aftermath of a war that sank countries, destroyed mountain ranges, boiled seas. I rule in the aftermath of a war that destroyed half the population of my country, extinguished most of the strong Spark lines, and created a citizenry that is naturally distrustful, angry, and frightened. You can imagine that rebuilding after a near-complete genocide while trying to work with a volatile peasantry and nobility that cannot agree on anything was very, very difficult. It took me twenty years to establish anything even resembling a peace, and even that is tenuous.

[He sighs.]

And it was for nothing. Twenty years of work. Giving up my dreams, my hopes, any chance of a relationship with my son, ever seeing my wife again, all for nothing. At least for the past two years I've been able to hope that when I eventually went back, I wouldn't once again be returning to the charred remains of everything I ever cared about.

Now I don't even have that.

[That would destroy almost anyone, Dist can agree. He's silent for a long time, just taking it in, thinking for himself. Never once had he given up on his hopes... not until Jade locked him up. It was hell for him, being left alone with nothing but his thoughts.]

I can't say that I understand completely, but... I know what it feels like to have your life's work snatched from under you by others who simply don't comprehend nor care about the amount of yourself you've poured into it. It would drive a man to madness... it would have done so to me if I hadn't been brought here.

I didn't know you had a son.

The ruler of an empire must have an heir. The amount of assassination attempts I was subject to even twenty years after taking power made it a necessity.

[A necessity to raise him without knowing who he was, to raise him to be as independent as possible, to raise him with no emotional attachment to his father whatsoever so that when he took power he would be able to do so swiftly and without grief.

That hurts far more than anything else he had to give up, really.]

Now he'll be used as a puppet to further the agenda of someone who will only keep him alive for as long as he's useful to her. And I can't prevent that either, because of the power she holds over me. It's that, really, that makes me truly angry: not only is everything I worked for slated for destruction, but I will be the instrumental pawn in ensuring it.

A child needs a father. Is that really what you think of him?

[Dist's own hadn't been exactly distant, but he really hadn't known how to raise a son on his own. Ignorance, not neglect or malice. It was part of why he'd grown so attached to Nebilim; his own mother died while giving birth to him.]

...My world was ruled by a two-thousand year old prophesy. The group I joined up with was determined to break it using increasingly desperate measures, including a replication device I'd built myself. All I wanted was my friends back. I wanted to go back to a time when we were all together... then Jade, once my closest friend, wanted me shut away from the world, preferably for life. Alone, with nothing but my thoughts.

Mayfield was freedom for the first few months.

Edited 2012-05-09 01:37 (UTC)

[Klaus almost flares up into anger again. Almost. He's just too tired for it right now, and Dist is lucky for that.]

I understand that.

[Perhaps better than he accurately articulate.]

In many ways, that is why I took over. I wanted to remake my country into the place it was before I lost everyone. I wanted it to be a safe place to raise my son. And that necessitated distancing myself from him. His chances of living with me as a father were slim to none; it would have been like painting a target on his back. His safety was far more important to me than whether or not he cared for me. A son cannot love his father if he's dead.

I don't think he'd ever be normal or safe if he has to hold up an empire himself eventually.

[That's not really the point though. The point was to ask about the crazy.]

So what made you an insane ragemonster is the same thing that lets you invent and modify machines efficiently, only turned way up, right? And you don't control how or when it happens?

[It ISN'T the point, and Klaus is glad Dist was smart enough to change the subject.]

Yes. Generally I can control my Madness far better even in such situations, but what I saw...

[He runs a hand through his hair, even though Dist can't see it.]

As you said. There are things that can drive a man to madness. Even I can only hold myself back for so long.

And your empire stands to control people like you but with less restraint.

[It's said plainly, just a simple confirmation of fact.]

How many sparks are there?

it's okay to say you've got a weak spot

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject