mayfield_rpg | I know my place, stick to my lines

[Sephiroth's been thinking about this for a long time. He's known what he should do for quite awhile now, but the extenuating circumstances of Mayfield had left him wondering if there's any point to doing it, if the results will be at all what he expects and deserves. He's also been debating broadcasting his intentions, whether he has any right to explain himself, but eventually he'd decided for it; he owes a number of people an apology, as well as the assurance that he's setting things right. Or at least trying to.]

[Phone]

Some time ago, when the revival system was being repaired, I was one of those taken. My mind was affected, and I became violent beyond reason. I don't know how many I may have hurt or killed, but any number would be unacceptable. My lack of control was unacceptable. The circumstances mean little in the face of my actions; no amount of excuses or regret can change them. [Despite the words he's saying, his voice is detached; he could be reading off a script. In a way, he is.]

In my world, I would be court-martialed. [At least. He's not sure ShinRa wouldn't simply kill him; that's certainly been their stance on rogue SOLDIERs in the past. A very recent past, at that.] But here, there is no military. As such, I'll be turning myself in to the local law enforcement to face whatever consequences they deem appropriate. If they refuse to acknowledge this... [He's considered this eventuality; as far as he knows, the police are as droned and as oblivious as most of the other residents. They may act as though nothing whatsoever is wrong, as they always seem to.] ...then I will offer myself to whatever judgment my victims care to pass on me.

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[When the phone had gone off, Malfoy hadn't been sure how to react. He's never used Muggle technology before. Eventually the ringing got on his nerves and he stalked over to the phone. Apprehensively, he curled his fingers around the detachable part of the item. He'd seen pictures before, it shouldn't be hard for him do this. Carefully, he raised it up and held it at arm's length away from his ear. The voice on the other side was hard to hear, but the message got its way through. Eventually Malfoy got confident enough to place the receiver closer to his mouth and to speak:]

Why are you giving yourself up? Isn't that rather stupid? Now you've exposed yourself to your victims and they can come after you for blood.

They're within their rights to. Actions carry consequences, and I'm answerable for mine.

But you needn't be. And it sounds like this town had put you under a powerful Potion. It wasn't your fault.

I know my duty. [He says this with some degree of finality.] And the circumstances don't change what I've done. Whether or not that affects my punishment isn't up to me to decide.

And what sort of ridiculous duty is it? To get yourself punished when you could've avoided it in the first place?

[There's a brief pause. It's not out of any hesitation or uncertainty on Sephiroth's part, exactly; he's simply wondering if he's doing this out of his duty to ShinRa as a SOLDIER...or out of duty to Angeal and, to a lesser extent, himself.

In the end, he decides it's both.] To uphold the standards of SOLDIER...and my own honor.

Honor. You sound like one of those all brawn no brain Griffindors. What is the point of honor if it endangers your life? Honor can't save you.

[This is a subject Sephiroth's thought a lot about, and discussed with Angeal at length - mostly back at the beginning of their friendship, when he'd been initially struggling with the concepts the man preached.] Honor is the distinction between men and monsters.

Or between stupidity and smarts. There is nothing more foolish than to give up your life because of an ideal that doesn't benefit you, but rather places more burden because of those so-called standards you have to live up to.

It benefits me. Doing what you believe in is what men live for. And a life without purpose isn't life at all; it's simply existence.

And do you truly believe that your life is to be dedicated to this concept of honor? In what way does it benefit you at all? Wouldn't it be better to live for something more material and tangible, like wealth or fame?

I already have both. [There's an audible rustle of leather - a slight shrug of sorts.] I could have had anything I wished in my own world. But there wasn't any meaning to such things. Wealth and status are merely things to have - things to live with, not by.

How could you not be happy? If it's true that you could have everything you wanted, then surely there would have at least been something that caught your eye.

I don't know. [He actually sounds as though he's giving this question serious thought.] I believe that happiness and what causes it is likely subjective.

...

Then you'd better figure it out, and soon. Before you lose your chance at obtaining it forever.

I was happy. For a time. But wealth and fame had very little to do with it.

...you sound as though you speak from experience. [This isn't a direct question, though Sephiroth's undeniably curious. But he's not going to actually pry.]

...

That's none of your business.

Good luck avoiding the mobs. Let me know if the pitchforks and the fire offer you the "happiness" you're looking for.

[He puts the receiver back on the wrong way. In fact, it takes him another two tries before he gets it right, and he then grumpily heads back to his room.]

I know my place, stick to my lines

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