(no subject)

[whorevillemayor]

[It's just another bright morning, waking up next to the beautiful drone wife that looks like Lu.

Except this time the drone hasn't been up hours before hand making breakfast. In fact, she seems content to roll over, bury her face in the pillow, and sleep in...]

[If the crash of the window didn't wake you up, the smoke filling the kitchen and the smell of burning waffles might!

Stepping into the kitchen you'll find your drone mother is clearly not droned anymore, assuming the woman in the bright pink gas mask currently trying to make the most inedible waffles you've ever seen is supposed to be the mother. She doesn't seem to notice your presence yet--or maybe she doesn't care; after all, getting revenge on Klaus is the more important thing here.]

[Later, the phone is picked up, the woman on the other side sounding annoyed, but resigned]

I disappear for nearly a year for everyone else, but for me it was just a night. I suppose I can assume the rest of the town is still standing?

[Her tone is sugary sweet] If someone would be oh so kind as to fill me in one what's been happening the past year or so.

Comments

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

[Disciple's voice has a strange accent Lucrezia probably can't place and still has a hint of purrs when she says r]Well I've only been here...Well, humans call that measure of time months, I think. [She pauses] ...Three months then! You didn't miss anything you would want to be here for. Things were...very bad.

[whorevillemayor]

[One eyebrow has raised]

In human months? I take it you're not human, then. [And then she adds, dryly] Things are never good here to begin with.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Oh no, I'm a troll. Gray skin, horns. My name is Disciple--Oh but things were well enough for me until this place started with the human holidays. I could do without those...

[Her voice perks back up. She can't let that get her down]

Well that's a long time to miss! You probably picked a good time to get back. It seems pretty quiet.

[whorevillemayor]

Troll? Like a Jäger? Or the kind that live under bridges in fairy tales? [it's hard to tell which is an honest question and which is a snide, sarcastic jab.

There's a sigh from her side of the line] It's never quiet for long with Klaus around. I'm sure explosions will start any moment now.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

...Well I don't know what a Jager is and I've certainly never lived under a bridge. Nor am I in any fairy...tails? How can you be in a tail?

...Really? I've known him since I got here and he hasn't caused any explosions. We threw...paper at a house once but I think that was this town being weird again. Oh but you know Klaus too?

[Paper is rustling as she flips through a book, searching for two names she recorded]

[whorevillemayor]

[...SHe's not even going to respond to that. Just kind of. SIGH.[

No explosions? Hmph, he must have lost his touch...

Yes, I know Klaus. I'm the beautiful and wonderful Lucrezia, and this place stuck me with that brute all over again. [WOE IS SHE]

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

[Too cheerful to get your sarcasm Lucrezia. TOO CHEERFUL. And she just squeaked, covering her mouth and then giggles aloud]

Lucrezia! I've heard of you, you're the girl Klaus is black for--[Then her brain catches up. She remembers talk about killing people, controlling. And...Lucrezia lives with him. Oh that poor hive. It's going to get as much damage and mayhem as Condesce's hive] ...I've never heard of kismesises living together. This place needs to take some lessons on who they put in hives together.

[whorevillemayor]

[Wat.]

...What? 'Black' for? Kismesi-- [KJhdkljg Now she just sounds angry]

Listen you, you better start making sense here soon!Explain yourself, stop talking nonsense!

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

It's romance! Troll romance but you fit it so well and you've hated each other so long it's amazing. When he told me how long you've hated each other... [She lapses back into a purring accent as she becomes more lost in the moment] It's amazing, such dedication and hatred. To loathe someone so long and so purely is just amazing.

[whorevillemayor]

[Wat.]

Uh... Thank you? I think? [Seriously what did she just hear] I mean-- I suppose there's no longer hatred that's spanned as many years as Klaus and I's but.

That's the first time I've heard someone complimenting me on it.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

[OH HUMANS]

Well black romance is just as good as red. Hate is as powerful an emotion as pity and love. I didn't think humans could get it right, but you two...Well, I'm glad that someone gets hate. But messing in his other quadrants...well that's not something you should do, but I get why you might!

[whorevillemayor]

[. . .]

You're talking nonsense now. I don't have any idea what you're talking about, dear.

[DOES THIS TROLL COME WITH SPARKNOTES LU FEELS LIKE SHE NEEDS THEM NOW]

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

...Okay basics! Troll have two forms of concupiscent relationships--ones with a sexual attraction and mating fondness, one based on love and pity, the other based on hate and rivalry! You and Klaus, ah, you're just textbook kismesises.

sorry for late! ;__;

[whorevillemayor]

[Thinking about that a moment]

...So where you're from, Klaus and I a sort of perfect couple? [S-so amused by this]

its fine!

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Well sort of. You're one sort of perfect couple. The hate kind. And his wife is the other kind, so in our world, he would have both you and his wife as his quadrants--er...mates? I suppose is the word you might use.