mayfield_rpg | 2 ♊ Forever failing

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c: the psiioniic

2 ♊ Forever failing

[Phone]

[Early in the morning of the 30th, pick up the phone, and you'll hear the Psiioniic's breath, ragged and desperate. His voice is no better; he's clearly spent quite a bit of his time shouting.]

[Every day since this whole mess has happened, he's made sure to check on his friends, to make sure they're alright. Signless and Disciple are some of the most important people in his life, and knowing what happens in the future... after what happened to Milla because he was careless... He doesn't want to fail again.]

[It happens anyway.]

[The rage and despair in his voice could tear him apart if it were physical.]

They fucking took him.

[His voice shakes. He doesn't explain further.]

[Action]

[Almost immediately after that little announcement, anyone loitering near the factory will notice one figure in particular making run after run against it.]

[The Psiioniic doesn't have his troll body back. He doesn't have anything. Certainly nothing to get him past the electrified barrier protecting the factory, and each attempt shocks him backwards, body smashing against the ground and rolling until he lays there for a few minutes, a twitching mess.]

[Each failed attempt, he gets back onto his feet. Each time, it's more unsteady than the last.]

[Unlike his earlier phone call, the expression on his face isn't angry. It's just pure focused concentration...]

[And if you can see his cheeks shining as if there's something wet there, well, pay it no mind.]

[ooc: edit trigger warning for self harm in the Condesce thread]

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Psii! You're not helping anyone by hurting yourself!

[ Yeah, there wasn't any way Milla was going to follow him in her wheelchair, so she Levitated to do it instead. Now she encases him in her Levitation ball, frowning. ]

Really, you lecture me about being careless and then you pull something like this! I know you're worried about your friend, but what you're doing isn't working and I'm sure he wouldn't want you tearing yourself apart! Now, really, that is enough!

[Clearly, the Psiioniic isn't listening to Milla. Not until he suddenly finds himself lifted right off his feet, and not by the shock of minor electrocution. Encased in the bubble, he just presses his hands against the translucent surface, breathing ragged.]

[His eyes still haven't left the factory.]

[His voice is hoarse, but still extremely, disconnectedly calm.]

Put me down, Milla.

Not until you stop trying to hurt yourself.

[ She crosses her arms and, awkwardly, her leg stumps, frowning. ]

Do you think you're doing him any favors here?

I'm not trying to hurt myself.

[Perhaps that is something of a lie. But he doesn't expect anyone else to understand the things Signless has done for him, the places he had pulled him out from both literally and mentally. Without him... Failing him... Having the words from that witch become something true...]

[The Psiioniic curls his fingers into the palms of his hands and clenches hard. He doesn't notice the biting pain.]

Jutht put me down. I'm going to get him back.

No, you're not.

[ Milla's tone is flat, matter of fact, as compared to her normal easygoing manner. ]

Sweetheart, I know it's hard. But you're obviously not getting anywhere this way. Now, what makes more sense - to keep hurling yourself at something to no effect except your own pain, or to sit back and calmly try to approach it a different way, one that might be more likely to actually get through that barrier and get to your friend? Hm?

There ithn't one.

[And maybe that's when his voice cracks just a bit from its usual flat tone. The tears sting his eyes and make it hard to see.]

I can't do anything. If I could, I'd tear thith town apart. I'd break it atom by atom, dethtroy everything that would hurt them, but I can't. I don't have anything.

Darling.

[ She nudges her way over to him in the bubble, wrapping her arms around his gangly shoulders. ]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[No reaction.]

He got me out but I can't even return the favor. I'm utheleth. No matter what I do, I'm a fuck up that can't even give him the kind of chance he gave me.

Now that is getting melodramatic. You know how you can be useful to him? By keeping yourself in one piece until you have an opportunity to really help him. He saved your life, I'm guessing? And I'm sure he wouldn't want you to throw away what he gave you for no reason.

[Condesce made sure to hide the trident after she had done the deed against Feferi to avoid questioning from her so called 'husband' on top of the other remaining trolls. But she hadn't missed Psiioniic's little episode over the phone.

Which is what brings her to watch him run repeatedly into the wall. She makes absolutely no effort to stop him. In fact, she might even be enjoying watching him.]

He did more than that. What'sth a life? Autonomy at itsth betht.

[His voice is approaching a hiss the more he talks, and he jerks his shoulders away from Milla.]

A life ithtn't worth anything at itsth core.

... Psii.

[ His voice is quiet and strained. ]

I don't know who you're talkin' about, but he'll be back. Tomorrow.

[And her presence doesn't go unnoticed.]

[Ignored, that's a different question. He ignores her quite a few times, focused on abusing himself as much as possible. Finally, however, when he gets to his feet, he doesn't immediately rush forward.]

[Instead, slouched, he just tilts his head in her direction, eyes dead. A flick of his wrist, and there's a knife in his hand.]

[No words. Just an empty stare.]

But what if that'sth even worthe?

I'm not blind, Kid, I've theen what they've done to the people who come out of there.

[A snarl, more animalistic than human.]

Death might be better.

[No.

No. No. No. NO.

They couldn't, they can't have--they will---She will make them pay.

But she can't. Not from out here. Not while he's in there and she's watching Psii is slowly destroying himself on the fence and she feels like she's break a little again. The people come back, but they aren't alright.

Disciple strides up beside him. If Dolorosa was here, they'd probably have the calming influence. But she and Psii, well they love too much to be calm and just wait and hope he'll come out okay on the other side.]

Give me a boost, I'll try to get over the top.

Oh? So should I go hurl myself off the nearest building, then, darling? Since if your life isn't worth anything, neither is mine, obviously.

I know. Been through it already.

[ He sounds too weak and too tired to try to go into detail. You could only loose so much blood without it getting to you. ]

Might not be bad. Might not be good, either. But ya can't let it get you riled up. Not yet.

[Yes, she remembered this. She remembered how much he fought, how much he screamed, how much he had carried on over Signless in his early days of Helmsman conditioning. It was almost cathartic to watch him continuously throw himself against the barrier to receive those shocks. Still, there was no real outward display of amusement.

The Empress's eyelids lower expectantly when he makes the knife appear, almost daring him to make a move. Her hands fold neatly in front of her, and she doesn't indicate any interest in moving towards him just yet.

She just keeps her eyes locked with his, unarmed to the naked eye. Condesce's chin dips slightly as she seeks out that dead stare for eye contact.]

[He's not surprised when he hears those familiar footsteps, and maybe there's some faint relief in his eyes when he looks up at her, more transparent now that his irises and pupil can be seen in this human body.]

You'll jutht get hurt too. I've tried it already.

[She's not getting it.]

[It's not a surprise. Not really. But it still tugs at something in his mind, and he finally tears his gaze away from the factory to stare down at her with a set jaw and hard eyes.]

...What do you do with thothe kidth, Milla?

[Eye contact will be easy enough to make; there's no flinch away, no fear and anger. No nothing.]

[The Psiioniic stares at her as if she's just a wall.]

[Finally-]

Make a way inthide. Open it.

[His words may be rough and haggard with how his throat is, but there's no denying that tone- that order.]

Psii.

[ She lifts her hands to his face. ]

If your life isn't worth anything, then Signless saving it wasn't worth anything, and his life isn't worth anything either, and I don't see why mine should be. Now, obviously, none of that is true. So stop being stubborn. Do you really think he'd want this?

[Hearing that confirmation makes the anger ebb away just a little, enough for some worry to worm in and bring him back down to earth. Just for a little while, anyway.]

...You alright?

[Sharply, he bats her hands away.]

You didn't anthwer my quethtion. What do you do? What do you do ath a- [Slow and careful, with just a tinge of bitterness.] Psychonaut?

[Ok, that gets a reaction out of her.

It starts soft. A scoff, nothing more. Than the more she thinks about it, the more the pitch in her tone increases before its a full on, bloodthirsty giggle.]

You are attempting to order me. How precious.

You and I both know it would be a fruitless endeavor.

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2 ♊ Forever failing

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