Here's a better thought: less talking, more hanging on. I can't - do -

[there's that creak again. his eyes widen.]

...Two's good! Two's a great number.

[so he takes a deep breath and starts tensing up, preparing for the inevitable. he figured he'd end up getting hurt today, but he never would've expected it would come down to catching a vampire who, in his opinion, really ought to know how to climb better than this. getting hit in the nose at that milk bottle game wasn't very fun either.]

One... [a beat] Um. One and a half...