08 June 2012 @ 11:24 pm
Six Doomed Timelines - The Hangover  
[Phone]

What day is it? What happened while I was out?

And why do I have a nest full of coins, a beak full of roadkill and a memory full of empty?

[Action]

[Much less disoriented, Davesprite can now be found around town, kicking up some totally ill beats, or at least he would if he could still beatbox. Just pretend the ill beats are there as he starts rapping.]

Right back here in Mayfield,
But now I got some sick beats to wield
To go along with my sweet sylladex,
If you mess with me, it's you that it wrecks!

[For the uninitiated, it may seem like pure magic that a spatula comes flying out of nowhere and strikes a nearby stop sign, but anyone who's had a sylladex knows what's up, especially if they're familiar with the voice-activated hash-modus.

W+R+E+C+K+S
2+2+1+2+2+2 = 11%10 = 1R1 = 1
S+P+A+T+U+L+A
2+2+1+2+1+2+1 = 11%10 = 1R1 = 1]


Honestly, you got nothing on me,
It's hard to see why you'd be crazy
Enough to challenge my right
In a hash-rap fight!
(2+1+2+2+2 = 9%10 = 0R9 = 9)

[And next, a brick (2+2+1+2+2 = 9%10 = 0R9 = 9) comes shooting out, putting putting a dent in the sign.]

Aww yeah, still got it.

[Proudly, Davesprite flies over to land on the defeated stop sign.]

Anyone who wants a piece of this? Can bring it on!
(2+1+2+2+2+1+2+2+1+2+1+2 = 20%10 = 2R0 = 0)

[At which point, Lil Cal (2+1+2+2+1+2 = 10%10 = 1R0 = 0) comes flying out right at him and smacks Dave in the face, sending him falling on to the pavement squawking and flapping desperately]

Oh holy shit get it off me!
 
 
14 April 2012 @ 12:22 am
Five Doomed Timelines - You Never Know What Matters Until It's Gone  
[Action; 436 Peepers Street]



[It's first thing in the morning and who's in the kitchen? It's Kyouko, making sandwiches. That's right. Not even. Eating them. Just. Making sandwiches. Plural. And stacking them up.]

Awwww yeah, lining up like so many chumps waiting to get served. Only we ain't serving them nothing, we're serving them to the other chumps because they are goddamn sandwiches. Chump sandwiches being served to chumps. Fucking chump cannibalism up in here, someone call Chumpibal Lector, his order is ready. Because we can make so many sandwiches. So. Many.

[Davesprite is so happy he has thumbs again.]

[Phone]



[The phone calls starts.]

Yes.

[And then hangs up. Then the phone call starts again.]

Hell yes.

[And then hangs up. And starts once more.]

Hell. [Hang up/Call again] Fucking. [Hang up/Call again] Yes.

Working this phone like Willis works that bald head of his. This phone is getting so worked. Gotta pay it some goddamn overtime. The doorknobs and the windows too. All of them just fucking fall before the might of opposable thumbs. Holy shit, it is just unreal how OP these things are. Twist tops? Un-fucking-twisted. Handles? They are goddamn handled. With real goddamn hands. Yes.

Oh and to the girl who is now in some orange crow body: hahaha sucks to be you. Try not to laser too many people in the face.

[Action; Anywhere]



[Dave in Kyouko's body can be found running around town, opening random doors and windows partly because having thumbs is awesome but mostly because he is a jackass and figures he might as well commit as many crimes as possible while in someone else's body.]

[OoC: Answers will be from [personal profile] finallyhasthumbs]
 
 
02 April 2012 @ 01:11 am
Four Doomed Timelines - At Least He's Not Competing with Egbert  
[Awww shit yeah. Dave isn't all about japes and capers like his bro John but he considers himself a fair hand in the pranking business.

WHERE DOING IT
WHERE MAKING IT HAPEN


At various times throughout the first four days of April:]


Pranking Scout )

Pranking Luke )

Pranking Dualscar )

Pranking The Captain )

Pranking Clubs Deuce )

[Action; Everywhere]

[Davesprite can also be found flying around, either setting up pranks or chillin' like a villain. At various points he may be rockin' a sweet new hat or other loot. He is totally on the lookout for anyone trying to get the upper hand on him.]

Hahaha just so many chumps lining up for a serving of their own ass like they just survived a fuckin' ass famine, guys just can't get enough of it.

[OoC: Anyone who is pranking Dave for the event can respond here. Likewise, anyone just trying to prank him for fun or otherwise wanting to interact normally can be here. Also, feel free to run across the same prank set-up as Luke and The Captain]

[Phone, after Pranking Scout]

Alright I've never heard of this brand and it totally looks toxic but somethings you just got to do for science so wish me luck.

[There's a pop and fizz - the sound of a can of soda being opened. Then a lot of metallic scrabbling of claws and wings on metal]

Oh holy shit how am I even supposed to goddamn lack of opposable thumbs I just-

[SPLOOSH. Yeah, Something just spilled.]

Whatever just get in my gullet-

Oh HOPY SHIT GOTTA GO FAST-!

[There's a crash, like a window breaking and the call ends]

[Action, Anywhere, immediately after the above phone call]

[THERE IS AN ORANGE FREAKIN' BLUR GOING BY YOU. AND FIRING NEON ORANGE LASERS EVERYWHERE, LITTLE SPARKLING BROKEN DISKS COMING OFF IT. AND ORANGE FEATHERS, EVERYWHERE.]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!